Up by Ben Fogle

Author:Ben Fogle
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2018-09-06T16:00:00+00:00

Marina – Risk

The trouble with big expeditions is that they take a long time to organise. I spent most of 2017 saying in answer to questions about whether I was worried, ‘I’m sure I will be, when the time comes.’ While Ben started training expeditions and our house slowly filled up with high-altitude mountain kit, I still regarded the expedition as too far in the future to worry about.

And then I overheard a conversation between my son Ludo and his friend. Ben announced his expedition and from then that’s all everyone wanted to talk about. ‘You know your Daddy will probably die on Everest,’ piped up an eight-year-old classmate who had recently watched the film, Everest, where (in this boy’s defence) most of them did die. Before I could intervene, Ludo responded cheerily, ‘No, don’t worry, my Daddy definitely won’t die.’ I realised it was time to have a frank chat with our children.

Ben and I have always been on the same page when it comes to risk. We are both fierce believers that a life with no risk is a life not worth living. You do what you can to make sure your life is long enough to benefit from the richness that this world brings, but you don’t become so risk averse that it stops allowing you to have any fun.

Parents in the 21st century are consumed with worry. It starts with pregnancy, the conflicting advice about what you can and can’t eat, the scaremongering articles in the media about terrible things that happen to babies and children – the mother’s kiss that killed her baby (a cold sore), the toxic paint on the cot. We bring our children into a world where they have to sit in a car seat until they are 14, of sterilisers and where we ‘baby proof’ our houses and disinfect every surface. We are catapulted into a world in which risk is considered bad.

The problem is that it’s not real life. Children are constantly exploring, touching, feeling, licking. They are pushing their boundaries to see where those boundaries are. If they hurt themselves, it’s a surefire way of teaching them never to make the same mistake again. But if we don’t let them make mistakes, we’re robbing them of the opportunity to learn.

Which is why Ben and I are happy for our children to climb trees and sometimes fall out of them. Our children’s knees are etched with an ever-evolving catalogue of scratches and grazes. There’s often a bruise or two somewhere, but they’re also careful and respectful of their environment.

In this context it makes it easier to justify their Daddy’s expedition. One car journey, we talked to them about how exciting climbing Everest was going to be. They needed no convincing. ‘I just can’t wait for you to climb Everest,’ Ludo enthused. But we also talked about the risks. We told them that it was dangerous, that many people have died trying to climb the mountain and that everyone who goes risks their lives.

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